I was the one who destroyed our relationship and you were the one who fucked up everything. You were my greatest love, both the brightest and the darkest part of my life and lived a tortured love.
I got lost and confused due to the fact that I have been attached to this love that I wasn’t able to forget. I keep questioning myself, “Is this love is finally coming to an end?”
I know that I’ve failed a thousands times trying to eliminate this love. But now, I am finally choking and killing this love inside me that I kept for so long. It’s completely time to go away and become the better version of myself. It’s time for me to move on once and for all .
This photo taken back 6 years ago. Back when the only color I know is black – from my teased hair to thick eyeshadow up to my shirt either band tee or not as long as it is black. That time when I’m utterly depressed. That time when I prefer to be alone. That time when I feel that I’m inadequate of my worth. That time when I hated the world. That time when I was in darkness. But those times had ended when the Lord God lead me out of that darkness into his wonderful light. From black to bright. From depress to joyous. From alone to being loved. From inadequate to adequate. From hatred to acceptance.
“I concede that I’m in love with the green haired super villain, King of Gotham City, Joker”
Ok, I’m just kidding here, hahahaha. I am talking about this guy who portrayed one of DC’s fictional character, Joker in Suicide Squad.
Rock Star and Oscar Winner Jared Joseph “Jared” Leto popularly known as lead vocalist of the American Rock Band 30 Seconds to Mars. His first appearance as an actor is during early 90’s and I was just about 5, 6 or 7 years old that time. I don’t really know about him until I discovered his band, 30STM and started listening to “The Kill” song in early 2000’s.
There’s no doubt why I madly adore him. Why? Apart from his bearded good looks that always turns me on, he’s talented – actor, singer, song writer, musician and director rolled into one convenient sushi 😍 Should I ask for more? Hahaha. It’s totally amazing how he manage to act, sing, write songs and direct some of music videos for his band(see here). How crazy it’ll be if I tell you that he’s now 45 years old? I had this in my mind that he’s not human, but he’s a vampire ’cause he isn’t ageing at all(loljk). And also, this guy loves mountains, he likes hiking. So tell me now, how not to like Jared?
So back in being Joker, Jared shared on Instagram a photo of Joker with his hands on Batman and a knife on his throat. This seems a teaser or hint that The Joker will return. I like him as Joker a.k.a Mr. J although that it is the wierdest of all because of his grills and tattoos. If the Joker returns, I’ll definitely wait for that movie.
As a fan, I’m always hoping and dreaming that one day I’ll watch their concert, will meet him in person and have photo with him. If he ask me to go mountain hiking, I’ll come with him with no hesitations inspite I’m afraid of heights as long as I am with the one and only Jared Leto.
I am sure that all the ladies out there who likes him can relate on what I am trying to say here and sorry to others who cannot. I may sound crazy here but I don’t care. I just want to let out my feelings with Jared, hahaha. So whoever knew him personally, please let him read this post.
As I stumbled upon this post, I laboriously answered the questions based on my life experiences. Then I realized how I’ve gone through this-so-called life challenges and conquered them. I thought of blogging this so I can share this to you all.
Here’s my ala Beauty Queen Answer, hihi.
What my life has taught me?
The first thing that came into my mind is that LIFE taught me that there is no REWIND. You can’t go back on things that you’ve done and you’ve decide for. If you make a wrong decision, you have to ACCEPT the consequence whatever it is and LEARN from it. Do not REGRET, everything happens for a reason. BUT if there’s time machine and I have a chance to go back, I’ll go back to where I’ve done mistakes in my life and make it right.
What is the best piece of advice I’ve ever gotten?
This is from the movie Cinderella, “Have Courage and be Kind”. Having courage is being resistance to fear as you face your life challenges. It’s like a roller coaster ride. There are twists and turns, sometimes you’re up, sometimes you’re down. If you know that you’re falling down, be brave enough to face it, enjoy the ride and your life will be easier. Kindness for me is one of the best trait you can share/show to everyone. If you’re good at heart, it makes you the most beautiful in the world no matter what you look like.
Do not find LOVE, let love find you. That’s why it’s called FALLING IN LOVE because you don’t force your self to fall, you just FALL.
What is some advice that I always follow?
My Dad always remind me to be kind, humble, have respect to elders and most especially have faith in God.
“Always Pray”. Prayer is the most powerful of all.
This post may be serious and dramatic to others but to think of it, it’s REALITY. If you’re feeling like you want to answer these questions, feel free to leave your answer on the comment box section. Let us exchange thoughts and I might learn something from your experience.
We’re on the 6th of October and 24 more days to go before the Halloween. And yesss! I’m ready for my Halloween Outfit. Skull Printed Tank Top. I saw this from the town’s bazzare and you wouldn’t believe with the price. I got this for only 150 pesos. Very cheap yet stylish. I love everything with skulls and crossbones. When I hear skulls, the first words that I could think of are “death”, “horror” and everything dark. I went crazy when I saw this from the bazzare. There is just no way I’m letting go with this badass top. I’m so excited to wear this. They’re like warning signs that says “THIS GIRL IS DANGEROUS“.
OMG. I can’t believe it. We’re on the half of month of June. Time flown by soooo fast. Summer has just ended. And I’ve been sooo EMO these past days just like the gloomy weather here in the Phil, loool. And I keep on playing this song and I’ve been LSS. Then, this leading lady came into my mind to be my FOTD. Watch this video:
This video is full of win. The girl is damn martyr in love, tsk! BTW, back on my FOTD, I’ll show you the inspiration for my FOTD:
Loooooljk. Ok, ok here she is:
BFMV’S TEARS DON’T FALL LEADING LADY
Before I show you my FOTD, let me show first my BEFORE look:
SAY HELLO TO THE CH-EMO PATIENT LOOOOL
And Ladies and Gentlemen, meet the zombie:
BFMV’S TEARS DON’T FALL LEADING LADY INSPIRED LOOK
I used black eyeshadows and blend it, black eyeliner(make it dark, just like a Zombie, loool), nude blush and concealer for the lips to make it pale. And I tease my hair with a teasing comb, with fringe bangs covering my right eye.
Here is a closer look of my eye:
Wheeew got a hard time workin’ on my eye and on my hair. It took an hour, looool
I know my outfit is a BOO, loooool. I’m on an EMO-thing. I wore this outfit yesterday when I headed at SB with my friend Chix. “Binagay ko lang yung porma ko at make up ko sa kasama ko, lol.”(trying to explain). Chix is super EMO on his get up. And as you can see, I only wore a pair of Flip Flops, because it’s raining. Tsssss.
And here is my FOTD:
A NOT SOOO SMOKEY EYES AND RED LIPS
An Emo inspired look. I match the make up and my up do with the outfit. Smokey black eyeshadows and red hot lipstick. And a one sided hair trying to cover up my right eye, loool. “Ganon daw ‘yung emo.” But swear I’m not EMO. And also I wore hair extensions.
Here is a not sooo close look of my smokey eye:
(Ahem) Super sa page-emote on cam.
I hope you like my first OOTD post and FOTD post. If you have any suggestions, leave a message right on my CBOX or comments on the comment section. KBYE!