I was the one who destroyed our relationship and you were the one who fucked up everything. You were my greatest love, both the brightest and the darkest part of my life and lived a tortured love.
I got lost and confused due to the fact that I have been attached to this love that I wasn’t able to forget. I keep questioning myself, “Is this love is finally coming to an end?”
I know that I’ve failed a thousands times trying to eliminate this love. But now, I am finally choking and killing this love inside me that I kept for so long. It’s completely time to go away and become the better version of myself. It’s time for me to move on once and for all .
This photo taken back 6 years ago. Back when the only color I know is black – from my teased hair to thick eyeshadow up to my shirt either band tee or not as long as it is black. That time when I’m utterly depressed. That time when I prefer to be alone. That time when I feel that I’m inadequate of my worth. That time when I hated the world. That time when I was in darkness. But those times had ended when the Lord God lead me out of that darkness into his wonderful light. From black to bright. From depress to joyous. From alone to being loved. From inadequate to adequate. From hatred to acceptance.
“I concede that I’m in love with the green haired super villain, King of Gotham City, Joker”
Ok, I’m just kidding here, hahahaha. I am talking about this guy who portrayed one of DC’s fictional character, Joker in Suicide Squad.
Rock Star and Oscar Winner Jared Joseph “Jared” Leto popularly known as lead vocalist of the American Rock Band 30 Seconds to Mars. His first appearance as an actor is during early 90’s and I was just about 5, 6 or 7 years old that time. I don’t really know about him until I discovered his band, 30STM and started listening to “The Kill” song in early 2000’s.
There’s no doubt why I madly adore him. Why? Apart from his bearded good looks that always turns me on, he’s talented – actor, singer, song writer, musician and director rolled into one convenient sushi 😍 Should I ask for more? Hahaha. It’s totally amazing how he manage to act, sing, write songs and direct some of music videos for his band(see here). How crazy it’ll be if I tell you that he’s now 45 years old? I had this in my mind that he’s not human, but he’s a vampire ’cause he isn’t ageing at all(loljk). And also, this guy loves mountains, he likes hiking. So tell me now, how not to like Jared?
So back in being Joker, Jared shared on Instagram a photo of Joker with his hands on Batman and a knife on his throat. This seems a teaser or hint that The Joker will return. I like him as Joker a.k.a Mr. J although that it is the wierdest of all because of his grills and tattoos. If the Joker returns, I’ll definitely wait for that movie.
As a fan, I’m always hoping and dreaming that one day I’ll watch their concert, will meet him in person and have photo with him. If he ask me to go mountain hiking, I’ll come with him with no hesitations inspite I’m afraid of heights as long as I am with the one and only Jared Leto.
I am sure that all the ladies out there who likes him can relate on what I am trying to say here and sorry to others who cannot. I may sound crazy here but I don’t care. I just want to let out my feelings with Jared, hahaha. So whoever knew him personally, please let him read this post.
As I stumbled upon this post, I laboriously answered the questions based on my life experiences. Then I realized how I’ve gone through this-so-called life challenges and conquered them. I thought of blogging this so I can share this to you all.
Here’s my ala Beauty Queen Answer, hihi.
What my life has taught me?
The first thing that came into my mind is that LIFE taught me that there is no REWIND. You can’t go back on things that you’ve done and you’ve decide for. If you make a wrong decision, you have to ACCEPT the consequence whatever it is and LEARN from it. Do not REGRET, everything happens for a reason. BUT if there’s time machine and I have a chance to go back, I’ll go back to where I’ve done mistakes in my life and make it right.
What is the best piece of advice I’ve ever gotten?
This is from the movie Cinderella, “Have Courage and be Kind”. Having courage is being resistance to fear as you face your life challenges. It’s like a roller coaster ride. There are twists and turns, sometimes you’re up, sometimes you’re down. If you know that you’re falling down, be brave enough to face it, enjoy the ride and your life will be easier. Kindness for me is one of the best trait you can share/show to everyone. If you’re good at heart, it makes you the most beautiful in the world no matter what you look like.
Do not find LOVE, let love find you. That’s why it’s called FALLING IN LOVE because you don’t force your self to fall, you just FALL.
What is some advice that I always follow?
My Dad always remind me to be kind, humble, have respect to elders and most especially have faith in God.
“Always Pray”. Prayer is the most powerful of all.
This post may be serious and dramatic to others but to think of it, it’s REALITY. If you’re feeling like you want to answer these questions, feel free to leave your answer on the comment box section. Let us exchange thoughts and I might learn something from your experience.
This was originally posted by one of the blogger I am following, Pink for Days by Chiela(Hi there Cheila). I asked her if I can get permission to write similar to blog post she wrote here although she indicate on her post that we can share it to our blog but still I’ve asked.
I participated on that post and I had opportunity to share Chiela more about me. I wanted to do the same with my readers as I would love to know more about them by answering the questions below.
These questions should be answered in the comment section. But if you think that it’s too personal, you can answer privately send thru my email: firstname.lastname@example.org.
You can answer them as topics or do a small text.
You can skip the ones you don’t want to answer.
You can think of this as a tag and do the same on your blog, to get to know your readers!!
So here goes the questions:
What is your first name?
Do you have a middle name?
Can you tell me your age and birthday?
Where in the world are you?
What is your maternal language? What language do you speak at home? Do you speak any other languages?
Are you married? If so, how many years? Did you have a big wedding?
Are you single? Do you have a boyfriend? if so, how many years have you been together?
Are you a mom or dad? How many babes do you have? Can you tell me their first names or nicknames and ages?
What do you do for a living?
What did you study in University? Did you attend?
What’s your favorite book?
What’s your favorite movie?
What is your favorite band or artist?
What is your favorite food?
Do you have any hobbies?
What sports/activities do you practice?
Do you have any pets? Can you tell me their names?
What time is it for you right now?
Why do you blog?
What do you love about blogging? Is there something you don’t like?
Here’s my answer in response with the questions so you’ll know more about me:
What is your first name? – RONALYN – it’s actually my Dad and Mom’s combination name – RONALDO & JOCELYN 😄
Do you have a middle name? Yes. It’s – – Francia
Can you tell me your age and birthday? – I’m on my late 20s and my birthday is on 6th of December
Where in the world are you? – I am from Philippines but currently residing in Papua New Guinea
What is your maternal language? What language do you speak at home? Do you speak any other languages? – I speak our main language which is Filipino(Tagalog) and English too. But I want to learn Korean & Japanese language
Are you married? If so, how many years? Did you have a big wedding? -No
Are you single? Do you have a boyfriend? if so, how many years have you been together? – I am single, ready to mingle, bahahaha
Are you a mom or dad? How many babies do you have? Can you tell me their first names or nicknames and ages? -No
What do you do for a living? – I am working as Service Corporate Manager 3 years now
What did you study in University? Did you attend? – I took BS. Business Management
What’s your favorite book? What’s your favorite book? – I’m not really into reading books(novel, fiction, romance, etc) but I can tell you that I love to read the Bible
What’s your favorite movie? – I don’t have a specific favorite movie. I love watching movies means I have so many favorites, Lord of the Rings trilogy, the Hobbit trilogy, Marvel, The Mortal Instrument, & Disney Movies
What is your favorite band or artist? – Paramore, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, 30 Seconds to Mars – Jared Leto, Incubus, Avril Lavigne, Bullet for my Valentine, Backstreet Boys, NSYNC – Justin Timberlake
What is your favorite food? – Japanese Food, Burger, Pasta, Pizza, Tofu & Seafoods 🍝🍣🍢 🍔
Do you have any hobbies? Sleeping? Hahaha. But I can say Blogging 😃
What sports/activities do you practice? – Haha, I am not sporty but I love watching Basketball 🏀⛹🏻
Do you have any pets? Can you tell me their names? – I had before and his name is Maro. But unfortunately, he died when I went home to Philippines last year. He’s a Cat 😿
What time is it for you right now? Time to find love? Haha jk it’s 7:30 PM
Why do you blog? – “Cause for me, blogging is my escape on sharing my thoughts and my love for cats, photography, fashion & traveling
What do you love about blogging? Is there something you don’t like? -What I love about blogging is you get to meet people around the world. They communicate by liking and get to react with your post.
And additional, facts about me:
I was a Hip Hop dancer when I was in High School. I was member of Now Girls Allowed dance crew. Oh my, I miss dancing, I’ll do this sometime.
I know also most of the Disney songs.
I know how to do nail art
To all my readers, It would be great and I’ll definitely appreciate if you participate in this Get-to-know-you-questions. I want to know more about YOU who has been reading and interacting here in Crazy Cat Lady’s Diaries despite I’m not posting regularly. You’re all my inspiration to write more here on blog. Thank you to y’all
For those who have been regularly reading my blog, you have probably noticed “again” that I’ve diminishing my blogging. I caged myself to commitments. I know that it has been almost a month and it is a big deal for me not to update my blog regularly. Now, I am here writing again for the sake of updating and to prove myself that I did not neglect this blog.
Why I’ve gone so long?
Y’all know how I always been strenuous with work and the only time that I can take a rest is during night time. You’ll find me always sleeping as this is my escape to reality, loljk.
I lend a hand to my sister on her online shop by sharing the stuffs she’s selling. And also, she got me by assisting and answering all buyer’s queries. Shout out to my sister, I should be paid by advertising her shop, haha.
I am obliged to teach the kids(Kid’s Ministry in our Church) every weekends an interpretative dance that they’re going to present this coming Palm Sunday.
I am attending workers meeting in our Church every Sunday and I was assigned as a committee in our up coming Family Camp that will be held on 14th -15th of April.
See how frantic my schedule was? As soon as #3 & #4 were both done, I’ll continue posting my Boracay Trip that I have on my draft. You know how a travel blog needs a detailed post. Also, I will be posting more stories with y’all.
Have you come to the point that you ask yourself what you wanted to be?
Yes, I am talking about your future self.
I remember back when I graduated in High School, I have to enroll for college – time to decide what course should I take. Honestly, I really don’t know what I really like, I don’t know what I wanted to be. I was undecided, I was unsure.
My dad wants me to take BS Education so I can be a future teacher so I just complied with my Dad just to make him happy. He accompanied me during the enrollment. We inquire at the registrar what the requirements are. Unfortunately, the required average to take that course should be at least 85% of average grade which I failed to acquire. I saw from my Dad’s eyes the frustration. I was guilty, if only I studied hard, if only or should at least be that so-called-good-daughter.
Long story short, I end up taking BS Criminology for a year and did not finish it due to our financial problem so I started working at the age of 17. Just to share with y’all, I’ve worked in different companies – Electrical Company, Government and Clothing Line.
Right now, I am working for almost 5 years as Service Corporate Manager – well thanks that I survived this work in spite of the stress I get everyday. But is this what I really want?
It took time for me to realize what I really wanted to be. I want to be a VISUAL MERCHANDISER of a known clothing brand. In the past few years, I discovered myself that FASHION is my PASSION. I want to showcase my talent, I want to dress up a mannequin, just like a memory from my childhood how I dress up my Barbie.
I still keep asking myself, “Is there any possibility or any chance to be a Visual Merchandiser?” I hope so. Still crossing my fingers, hihi. But if this not happen in near future, just be happy and accept it. In reality, there are things that are not just mean to be.
I may not be what I wanted to be but I am happy and contented of what I am right now. That’s enough and I enjoyed everything. I am truly blessed that I have stable job and surviving every single day. I couldn’t ask for more.